


Todoroki won't say a word

by defeatedbyabridge



Category: Kamen Rider Hibiki
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2014-06-05
Packaged: 2018-02-03 12:42:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1745009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defeatedbyabridge/pseuds/defeatedbyabridge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The student sure as hell hasn't become the teacher. But after Shuki? Maybe the student can help, just a little.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Todoroki won't say a word

Todoroki wept, sometimes, when he was training. 

("You have to keep training forever," the little Hibiki in his head notes. Zanki tchhs at him, and ignores him.) 

He didn't cry from pain - well, hardly ever. With him, it was frustration. Because he wasn't fast enough, wasn't smart enough, wasn't picking it up quickly enough, didn't understand. Because he wasn't _good enough_. Sometimes he'd turn away for a moment, fists clenched, far too respectful of Zanki to tell him he was full of shit (even when Zanki was reasonably sure that was what he wanted to say). Other times, he'd frown, and try again, utterly ignoring the tears rolling down his cheeks. 

He's quite cute, at times, Zanki's Todoyama. 

Zanki always gave him as much time as he needed, whether that was a few seconds, or none. He'd listen to the frustration, perhaps comment, "I see," and that was all. No fuss. (Zanki never commented on the tears.) 

Todoroki, now. Even when he's perched on the end of Zanki's small bed, trying so desperately to understand. He's an adult. A fully fledged Oni. 

A fully fledged Oni who hasn't wept for some time. 

The man was a policeman. He's seen badness. He's seen some of the worst that can be found in human hearts, and he still doesn't understand Shuki's actions, still doesn't understand how Zanki can forgive, is still distraught over how Akira was nearly claimed by either Shuki or the Notsugo. It's... it's cheering. 

"That person lost herself to hate," Zanki says quietly. "Akira is too close to the same, but we'll help her."

Todoroki's troubled. His hair's on end, as usual, and he drags the back of his hand across his eyes. "It's not wrong to be angry when your parents are killed, though...?"

Zanki nods, understanding the conflict. "It's one of those matters that's so simple it's really quite complicated," he says wryly. "Of course you can be angry, can be upset, if someone you love is killed. But you can't lose yourself to it. You can't let that be the disharmony to every action you take. To be an Oni, you have to fight to protect."

"...not for vengeance," Todoroki agrees. There's one of those honest, goodnatured, nearly understanding, expressions on his face. Zanki has precisely zero concerns about Todoroki himself being lost in this way. He's just not the type. 

They're silent for a long moment. Zanki's tired. It's been a difficult day, and while he's not one to dwell on mistakes made or nearly made, there were so _many_ today. But Todoroki's much better at silence than he used to be, and Zanki finds himself drawing strength from sharing time with him. Just as Todoroki's much more capable of finding his own answers in Zanki's silences these days. 

"I transformed again," he mentions to Todoroki, partly to see his reaction, partly because he wants him to know. 

An indrawn breath. "You transformed again," and there's reverence as well as tears in his voice now. He has his long legs folded under him. It's a cool night, and there's a breeze through Zanki's window. Todoroki's face is shadows and moonlight, and his body is strength. Slim, but it's all muscle. Much more toned than he was when he began. 

He's only wearing his little blue shorts. For all that he's strong, for all that he's an excellent Oni? He probably needs a blanket. 

"Yes," Zanki says calmly enough. He's dressed similarly, legs bent, elbows on his knees. His red quilt is soft against his behind, against the soles of his feet. Todoroki's thigh is a warm comfort against his ankle. 

"Are you sure you're-"

"Yes," Zanki repeats, leaning back a little, unbending, palms on the quilt. "I went to the doctor." 

It's true, as far as it goes. 

Todoroki's face is shining, and Zanki will do exactly nothing to change it. Let him be happy, after so much tension. Zanki's needed. He'll continue to transform. He couldn't help Akira (he saved her from the Notsugo, but couldn't get through to her about Shuki's methods or about _hate_ itself), and he couldn't help Shuki (he gave his sensei dignity in death, but couldn't make her realise why it was wrong to sacrifice first him, then Akira to the destruction of a Notsugo), and he can't save his Todoroki from worrying about him over his sensei.

At least he can give Todoroki joy about fighting beside him. He'll be as careful as he can be. His heart is... not good, but he's not stupid. He won't take unnecessary risks, and Todoroki won't need to know exactly what the doctor said about never transforming again.

Todoroki's hand is on his. Zanki turns his hand over, grasps it instantly. He intertwines his fingers with his student's. Well, not precisely. Todoroki's a fully fledged Oni, no longer _formally_ his student, and that, in fact, is the only reason Zanki considered this relationship at all. For all that Todoroki was an adult even when they began working together, it would have been wrong.

"Zanki-san," Todoroki says softly. "Thank you." 

Zanki is about to query, when he catches the look in the dark, dark eyes. 

...oh.

For... for being himself.

For not losing himself in what Shuki did to him, ten years ago. 

Oh.

He's silent for a moment, and for once it's not intentional, or due to exhaustion. He's simply lost for words, and utterly horrified at the shakiness he can feel at the base of his throat. 

Then Todoroki leans forward and claims his lips. 

* * *

It's a joining. A reaffirmation. With his Todoroki, who flails and frowns and gets enormously frustrated and shoves his entire head into buckets of water, but sometimes knows exactly how to act. 

When grief threatens to surge in him, Todoroki's _there_ , with a kiss, a lick, a soft gasp.

_Sensei..._

They lie together, afterwards, and this time the exhaustion feels... healthier. Todoroki's head is on his shoulder, long legs tangled with his. 

(And if there are tears, Todoroki won't say a word.)


End file.
